......so much to tell.

There's so much to tell and share and well........life gets busy and before you know it, it's been weeks and I haven't told or shared anything. And there is SO much that I want to tell.......I just haven't made the time. Maybe because I'm scared it will come out wrong? Maybe because it is still so emotional to "go back" and "be there"........but I really must press on and just tell it like it is to me.
So I'm starting here with Sophia.
I wrote about Sophia before, my sweet sweet Sophia.
The precious teen who wrote me a letter last summer saying good-bye and called me her momma.
The one who has never left my heart since making her mark on it last summer.
This one........


Sophia.........ah, I love this girl! Over the 10 months that we were apart, we were able to exchange a few letters and I was able to send her pictures and a small gift bag of goodies. We kept in touch as best as it was possible to do so with no postal system, internet or phones. I really just wanted her to know that she is always on my heart and mind and in my prayers. And while I always think of her......I didn't know what to really expect in getting back to see her. I mean really......would she remember me? would she be as excited to see me as I would be to see her? I honestly went with no expectations, none. I didn't want to be disappointed and I surely didn't want to put any pressure on the moment. So when we arrived at the orphanage that Saturday......I was "playing it cool" on the outside but aching to run her down and squeeze her on the inside. And no sooner than I got off the bus--------GOD BLEW ME AWAY!!!

I was approached by kids that I didn't recognize, one's that KNEW my name! And they are all saying 'Pam-E-la".......over and over. And they are pulling at my arm and pointing towards the homes and saying "Sophia, Sophia" and I soon realized that they were making a connection between me and her! And they KNEW who I was! And they were insistent that I was going to the house to see Sophia. And as I started to cross the bridge over, I saw her......coming towards me with one shoe on and one shoe in her hand......and we met in the middle of this bridge!

And she hugged and squeezed me and I was tearing up and she would pull back and look at me and then hug me again.....it was wonderful!!! I don't think Paramount Pictures would've written a more beautiful moment for this! And other children are by us and they are pointing at me and then pointing to Sophia and saying "Manman" (means Mother) and pointing to their hearts........and I was crying now and saying "Yes, manman". And now they aren't only talking about me being Sophia's momma but I think they were talking about me being there momma. And I honestly was overwhelmed at how much I wanted to just load them all up in the bus and bring them home with me and be their momma. It was overwhelming and beautiful and was more of a moment than I could have even imagined myself.
The next 6 days with her were amazing and it was so hard to leave her again.......but I hope and pray that I will touch that sweet face again!! I've been gone for almost 2 months.....but we've already managed to swap letters (and I sent photos) and I can't wait to see what she has to say!

Sophia will never know how she has changed me..........but I pray she knows how much I love her!